(Artist: Ceal Floyer)
Have you ever received suggestions about your outfits on your blog? It is very important not to mistake outfit suggestions and bullying. Bullying is a comment left anonymously saying that you look like sh*t and that your blog sucks. Outfit suggestions are different. First of all, it's not an anonymous comment. Second, the person is often another blogger. Third, it’s meant to be a constructive criticism about one of your outfit. Usually, the reader writes about what you should change in the outfit to make it look better.
It happened to me last week. The comment was: “I like this look a lot. Classic, professional and sleek. However, I would make a couple of accessory suggestions:
1- Pearls instead of that chunkier H&M necklace
2- Brown belt
3- Stronger color on the shoes. They blend into your feet and for a moment I thought you were barefoot and wondering why your toes seemed cut off”
If he liked the look so much, why does he need to make all these changes?
My post was about the 60’s pink skirt that I had just purchased. Being a huge fan of the 60’s, I styled it accordingly to the era. For the record, pearls would have given the outfit a very different vibe and this is not at all the look I was going for. I wanted a look that said “young, fun and Mod” not “ladylike, Jackie Kennedy”. I tried it with a belt and I didn’t like it. I wanted to keep the focus on the skirt and a belt was too distracting. Same thing happened with the brighter shoes so I decided to go with nude heels.
After reading the suggestions I felt really misunderstood. I know this blogger didn’t mean to be hurtful but he was. Why did this reader feel like he had to make a constructive criticism? I don’t even ask my boyfriend or my friends what they think of my outfits. Because I honestly don’t care. Fashion is an expression of who I am. Asking them what they think would influence my way of dressing and it would become an expression of who they are.
I see fashion as an art form. Do people visit art blogs and tell the painter:” I really like your female nude, however I would have painted a tree”. This is how ridiculous it sounded to me. Am I overreacting? I have been blogging for a year and a half and these types of comments only happened a few times. But it made me wonder about blogging etiquette. So am I asking you: do you like these types of comments? Are you as annoyed as I am when you read one? Do you make outfit suggestions to other bloggers? Can a constructive criticism ever be constructive?
FYI - I deleted the comment I mention in this post because I didn’t want to give a bad reputation to a blogger that didn’t deserve one.
These are complicated questions you're asking. I don't mind the comments but I definitely don't like them! I see fashion just as you do - a way to express who I am so I don't need suggestions. Anyways, as long as the criticism is constructive and not meant to be harmful I read them, consider them and see if I like them and if it would work for me ... then I go do my thing :)
ReplyDeleteXoXo
Plami
http://fashion-thrill.blogspot.com/
I appreciate every comment and suggestion. I can take it into consideration, but in the end it's my style, my blog and my life. :) For example me and my mum have completely opposite styles. The things I love, she usually hates and vice versa. So I know that I can NEVER trust her judgement. ;) X
ReplyDeletehttp://www.mademoiselle-lala.com/
I am not one to leave these comments...though some people really enjoy the art of styling. I wouldnt think to much into this...thats there style and you have yours which is great!
ReplyDeletexx
Hot Pink Day
Shop Blue Vanilla
If you don't like, you don't comment. Thats my way to see things. Sometimes I can say "Oh a brighter clutch will look great on there too" but never say someone it will be better "if". I received some but they talk more about my face and yes anonymous, so I don't care. Is my blog, my looks. If you don't like, close the page, don't Rachel Zoe me.
ReplyDeleteIf people ask for comments on outfits, and I have something to contribute, I say it! But if not - if it's just a post where someone has pictures of their oufit, I don't add my $.02. But I would also not be offended or bothered by this comment. Think of it like this: your cute outfit made him think and consider the fashion elements, and he was inspired to comment on how he would have styled it. It's great that you're inspiring people to contribute like that - thank him for the comment and don't worry about it!
ReplyDeleteHi Marie!
ReplyDeleteI know what u mean... i have received those kind of comments and sometimes are even hurtful!
I don't find it funny if someone say u look like a "lady of the night" or if suggests u to practicly change your style her/his way... i say: "wtf? is it my blog or yours??... this is about MY PERSONAL style, not yours... so go share your critics/ideas in your own blog!"
I actually do appreciatte every comment readers leave, but there is a big fat line between suggestions and hateful criticism.
Don't worry about it, blogging has its pros and cons... and i think these kind of things are the cons. Keep it going girl! u are awesome!
There is people who love and enjoy everything u share in here! :)
Xoxo
Caro
haven't gone through this experience but i imagine it can't be nice.i like receiving feedback and critics in general because i can learn something new. But they're not always right so i ignore them.This happens to me more about my photography...even had somebody( wanna be photographer) who offered himself to take my picture because i wasn't good enough at doing it...iknow my level, i still have a lot to learn but so does he, even if he considers himself a professional :)) Same goes here, with your outfit, you did a great job and i wouldn't change anything!
ReplyDeletecritics are good, but you have to know what to take in. so great article!
I just started blogging and have yet to receive one of these comments, so take my comment with a grain of salt (my answer could totally change after I receive one)! I think when people leave outfit suggestions on a blog it means they are really engaged with your post. They are presenting their take on styling the same key pieces of your outfit. I think if the focus was taken off of "outfit suggestion" and placed on "love the skirt, I would totally wear it like this..." it wouldn't come off with a harsh undertone. Posting outfit pictures takes a lot of guts, because your showing everyone your creative work! But if you interpret it as a way for people to get engaged with your blog, I don't think receiving those kinds of comments will be that bad! That's how I take suggestions from my friends :)
ReplyDeletexx Elia
I agree with your feelings about your outfits and styling being an expression of your ART. I've always felt that my hair, makeup and wardrobe were MY ART! I don't think it makes sense for people to offer suggestions on how your outfit could have been "better". You obviously know how to dress and look good and you're not asking for opinions. Keep "doing YOU" I'm enjoying seeing your artwork!
ReplyDelete*pat pat*
ReplyDeleteIt's your blog so you can share as you please (of cos without going overboard etc) so just be yourself. Take it with a pinch of salt and move on. Don't take it to heart and it's not worth getting angry about. Think about all those pretty stuff you could be posting and sharing about with those energy - channel them to something positive! ;)
<3 Dee